Since this has already “leaked”, I thought you guys would want to see it. Yes, I am a demanding performer, but after a show like you got on Saturday night, can you blame me?
STEVE DAHL’S RIDER FOR JUNE 2, 2012 – OUT OF THE BASEMENT TOUR, PARK WEST THEATER
6 (six) Vita Coco coconut waters. Flavors: 2 (two) Peach & Mango, 2 (two) Tropical Fruit 2 (two) 100% Pure.
12 (twelve) bottles of Welch’s Sparkling White Grape Juice
12 (twelve) marble buckets filled with crushed ice
1125 (one thousand one hundred twenty-five) red Solo cups(no knockoffs!) Each cup must have the name “Stever” written on its side with a black Sharpie.
An assortment of Oven Roasted Turkey, Turkey Bacon Guacamole and Chicken Carbonara sandwiches from Quiznos. They must be toasted, then removed from the original toasted bread and replaced with fresh bread, so the meat and cheese have benefitted from the toasting process, but the bread does not suffer burnt spots.
12 (twelve) orders of Burger King’s new crispy chicken strips accompanied by ranch and zesty onion dipping sauces and served by a frail grandmother dressed as Steven Tyler.
46 (forty-six) Laffy Taffys of varying flavors(No Green Apple!) They should be arranged according to wrapper jokes from funniest to least funny in an inward spiral on circular oak table no larger than 2.4 meters in diameter.
3 (three) copies of the CD single “Here Comes the Hotstepper” by Ini Kamoze.
1 (one) boombox with top-loading CD player
5 (five) pump-dispenser variety containers of Mentadent dual-action fluoride toothpaste
1 (one) toothbrush
3 (three) VHS copies of the Christian Slater film “Gleaming the Cube,” one in English, one in English with German subtitles and one in German with German subtitles.
1 (one) Alien Workshop Rob Dyrdek Psyc Deck skateboard (32.5″ in length, red and black colors.) Note: you need only supply the deck, talent will bring and attach his own wheels.
2 (two) skate ramps. The more gnarly of the two should be placed in the rear of the dressing room, with the less gnarly ramp in the front.
Dressing room should adorned in old gold and reflex blue to reflect the traditional school colors of Coppin State University.
Posters should be attached to the north, west and south walls of the room, as follows: 1 (one) of Rod Carew swinging a bat in an Angels uniform( north wall); 1 (one) of Cuba Gooding Jr. in full military dress from the film “Men of Honor” (west wall) and one of Rod Carew swinging a bat in a Twins uniform(south wall.)
1 (one) black cape (100% cotton)